Whispers In The Wind

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I wanted to share a moment I had today with this song. I know probably everyone has heard it at some point. I want you to listen to it again. Listen to the words and I want you to vision the lost ppl around you, family, friends, co-workers, the lady working the register at Circle K, the young lady in Walmart that looks full of anger, and hurt… there are so many things and ppl around us that went through my mind when I was listening to this song. Then I had a flash back from about 5 years ago, It was probably 3 or 4 am, I was sitting outside on the steps, I was drunk and listening to this song. I remember listening to this song over and over again, actually several drunk nights I ended up around Godly stuff. See at this time I had recently walked away from everything I knew, my brother had died and it turned my world upside down, my two teenage boys were acting up, to the point where I cried almost every night, I was working 2 jobs, trying to be the best mom I could be because my kids were my world,  in church, in a small group, trying MY hardest to do this God thing.

Even being in church I was dying a self-induced spiritual death, I was dying because I wouldn’t let anyone fully in, yes including God, or should I say ESPECIALLY God. I knew of God, I knew I pretty much believed in him, I had seen miracles in my life, Angels when I was near death several times, so I knew he was real. I just didn’t think he was for me… I didn’t think that he loved me. I mean, come on… If he had loved me, he never would have let me go through everything I have been through. Almost no one knows my full story but there had been lots of pain and very close encounters toward death. I flipped when my brother died, left church, left my small group, stop talking to ppl from church, funny thing is?? It was my way of protecting them, I knew I was slipping bad, all I wanted to do was drink, party, numb the pain. ALL the pain, an entire life of doing the “so called right things” and having it screw me over. I loved my girls, the hardest thing was walking away from them but I couldn’t chance taking them down with me, so I vanished. One day im gonna finally sit and write about all of this for ppl but until then…. Anyway, drunk listening to this song.. wanna know the weird part? Even though I had walked away from church, from God… I often wondered if anyone “Heard Me” did anyone truly understand the pain, lost, hopelessness that I felt inside?

Let me ask you the same thing I asked myself today… Do you hear them??? Do you??? Do you hear the cries for help, the screams of desperation for a way out, a plea for hope…. Do you hear her???? OR have you become so comfortable in “doing life” that you have forgotten where you came from? Have you forgotten how broken you were before someone shared Gods love with you, before someone SHOWED you GODS LOVE. Let me tell you who did that for me, Pastor Shannon Richard. She showed me unconditional God love, through every drunk text message, through every hangover. She never gave up encouraging me, She never grew tired of reminding me of Gods plan for me. My life and who I am has changed because of God and because of 2 women, Shannon Richard and my amazing mentor Tasha Guidry. They invested God’s love into me. Who are you investing God’s love into??? We talk about changing the world, but what part are you playing in the change?? We pay things forward, acts of kindness, which I love love love doing, but how about paying forward ministering to someone who is lost and broken???

You want change in your life??? Then get Radical about God’s Love!! Wake UP, OPEN YOUR EYES, & BE THE CHANGE.



The Leech Factor

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Without Jesus I’d be like a car accident with no repair shop,
a mental-case of self-doubt,
a walking shot of vodka times twenty.

Without Jesus in me,
I would travel from place to place
as a leech seeking my next feel-good prey.

That would be me.

You know what the crazy part is?

I’ve realized it’s ok if I still leech. Jesus doesn’t mind how much I leech on to him.

I can grasp on, pull out everything that IS him and still get every ounce of what I desperately need. I pull in all of his goodness to breathe out all of it wherever I go.

Jesus practically says leech off of me
and I will give you all-surpassing peace.

You will keep in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. Is. 26:3

I never thought it should work that way. But, it does. It really does.

He is the rescuer, the ambulance, the paramedic who now runs to my rescue.

Not from the physical issues that most likely would have plagued me, but, to the deep emotional hurts. He doesn’t even bandage them – but simply touches them with his gentle hands to bloom what once was bruised.

I don’t need much else besides him. He is the all-inclusive package to life.

I can seek him until I am blue in the face, and still uncover greater sustenance.

He’s better than the straight shot of alcohol because his intoxication heads directly into my heart.

He works in me, through me and for me.

to whom God willed to make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. Col. 1:27

Now I have hope.

What once looked like a world full of hurt, crud yet-to-come and accidents waiting to happen, now looks like a world of hope-at-bay, peace-at-work and joy-yet-to-come.

It’s a mystery, but once you have Jesus in you – it all becomes clear as day.

You don’t have to worry about today, because God holds tomorrow.

You don’t have to fret about lost dreams, because God works beyond our visual screens.

You don’t have to be anxious, because God is working through the piles of trash that seem all around you.

You don’t have to feel alone, because God’s presence is greater than the blue sky that covers.

You simply rest in him, knowing he is working. That is Christ in you.

A person cheating and swindling?  Compassion for their needy heart.
Christ in you.

An obnoxious customer service call? Grace to the one who gets rejected all day long.
Christ in you.

Another call at church to give more money? An outpouring of money to those in need.
Christ in you.

Things you could never comprehend pouring out,
were always poured out by Jesus.
Christ in you.

I am realizing that the only requir

ement is a desire to keep blockages of his glory far, far away. To keep those things that trip you up distanced. That’s it. It’s not even so much that I have to do the hard labor, Christ in me, handles that for me, I just have to be willing to bring it to him.

To acknowledge it – you know, the opposite of deny it.

Then we can see his radiant glory shining out and when it shines it changes everything you look at.  Christ in us. The power is staggering.

Crystal Ball

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She sat there on Bourbon in her small iron chair…. making conversation with herself while smiling into the air… smoke surrounded her making it hard to see… but her eyes seemed almost angelic when she glanced over at me…. I smiled back… unsure of what to do… but her gaze had locked me and I could not move… she had a mysterious grin…. when she pulled back her curtain I had no choice but to follow her in….

We sat at her wooden table… smoke from incense filled the air… I watched her nervously as she reached for my hand… her eyes never left mine… for a brief instant I thought I saw someone else there… for some strange reason they looked blue… I closed my eyes and took a deep breath… I must’ve been seeing things because suddenly her eyes were as green as before….

It felt like she heard my thoughts when she ran her hand across my face….. it felt so familiar… causing my heart to race…. her deep green eyes stared intensely into mine… her fingers traced my cheeks… stopping softly on my lips…. seduction filled her voice when she spoke my name…. her fingers circled my palm and I felt afraid… I had not told her who I was… how does she know my name?
She told me she held my future in a small crystal ball…. I was curious… wondering what she could see…. was it possible that she held the truth of me…. Did she have the answer to heal my broken heart?

Had she seen a way to make these tears stop? She took my hand and placed it on her crystal ball and what I saw made my heart fall… there was no sunshine in this place… only coldness without hope of grace…. tears streamed like waterfalls on a tiny girls face… she was walking alone through the woods… her only light seemed to be a shining star in the black sky…. it hid behind the clouds and I heard her on the brink of another cry… her voice was soft and weak… “please don’t go”,she cried, ” I can’t see anymore without your light”
She sat on the ground alone and afraid… tears ran down my face watching her…. I understood her pain…. I looked across from me and asked the green eyed woman to help this young girl…. send an angel to light her path… give her the star back… please don’t let her stay so lost and afraid…. She only watched me… refusing to speak… I turned my sight to the young girl… she was on her knees, her fingers on a cross as she prayed…. a small gleam came through the sky…. she looked up with a tiny smile…. her weak body laid on the ground… her grey sleepless eyes slowly closed…. her breaths were deep… a tear fell across her cheek as she found her way toward sleep… the light begin to fade… and darkness fell….
I looked up from the ball afraid… I couldn’t see the tiny girl…. I could only hear the frantic noises that begin to invade her dreams…. The green eyed woman moved next to me…. “I can save her” She softly touched my dark hair…. she knew my heart was broken with this girl… her eyes locked with mine… “it won’t cost as much as you may think my sweet girl” I felt fire in her eyes… weakness when she touched my hand….fear when her lips touched mine…. her tongue had a bittersweet taste… it was the taste of sweet destruction… she spoke softly in my ear but I couldn’t understand what she was saying…. I felt something leaving me… it didn’t feel right… “NO”
But her hands felt like blades into my throat silencing my screams…. I could hear the tiny girl begging to breathe….
“I don’t understand why I feel so all alone” she cried…. “someone please help me…”
Her grip became tighter and I knew this could be the death of me….
She watched me struggling to breathe…. I could see her thoughts dancing across her face…
She thought I was too sweet and weak… it was my hopeful dreams that lead me to this place ….but didn’t she understand… this sweet girl was who I had always longed to be… she tortured my mind with what I had lost… reminding me of how my shining star had floated away… she couldn’t understand why I was fighting to keep this love inside of me…. She could see that my pain would never leave…
For a moment I saw tears in her deep green eyes…. I knew she was only wanting to protect me by trying to kill me…. She didn’t want to hurt anymore… she wanted to pretend these smiles were real… she was tired of lying to everyone around her….
Without speaking I reasoned with her… pleading for my life… making her understand that even if I let her win… the pain would still be there…. I had lost the love that I had loved the most…. There was no recovery from this pain….

Even if I let her coldness set in… she would still be lying to everyone she faced…. I couldn’t let her believe that in my death that everything would be ok….
She was stronger than I remember….she didn’t play fair…. She offered empty promises to cure the sleepless nights… to heal the brokenness inside my soul….. she saw me as nothing special… only a girl with foolish dreams….. she reminded me of what I see each time I look into the mirror and I fell into my weakness….. I felt the air leaving my body….

Sadness gripped my heart… knowing if she won, no one would ever find me….
I felt a light shine over my face… he’d come back to save me…. My shining star had come to make me safe…. I felt a small surge of strength rise within… remembering who I was with him…. When I saw his eyes I knew I didn’t want to die…. This shining star was the only thing still keeping me alive…. The love it had given me was the only thing I still prayed and hoped for….
I struggled to get free but her strength would not relent….i knew know who she was…. Everything became so clear….. Lady D was imprinted in the diamonds she wore on her head…. Her glamour and fire I wanted no more…. Living without feeling was the strength of her fortress……she was the beauty and fun that people wanted to see….

But I only longed to be just me….. I fought her kryptonite eyes with memories of my life before she had come back for me….. the love that filled my mind became her weakness….

And she released her grip on my throat… I heard her angry screams as her crystal ball shattered….. I ran fast following the light from a star above…
When I stopped to catch my breath I looked around…. I was back in the woods and I saw the tiny girl asleep on the ground… I sat to watch her sleep… tear stains upon her cheeks…. I knew she was searching for angels in her sleep…. It was how we spent each night…. Roaming through the woods… looking for an angel that held the shape of a star…..
There was no choice here but to accept my fate….

I moved to lay with her…. My fingers touched our cross… prayers moved across my lips…. Darkness began to fall again…

and I knew he was leaving me…. He had a new life that didn’t include me…. Watching his smile felt so bittersweet but I tried to smile back in knowing that for a short time he had come back for me….

It gave me hope that maybe… just maybe… there are times when he still thinks of me…. I could feel my foolish heart still waiting and hoping he would come back for me….. I know in some ways she was right… my sweetness is my worst weakness…. Its something I have no control over…. It’s the effect his light has over me….
I closed my eyes…. Saw his face…. Thankful for the memories that I had taken time to create…. Pieces of me afraid to sleep…. But for tonight…. Those memories helped me win the battle against the other side of me…. So for tonight…. There was no crystal ball… only a star that hid behind the clouds… and a young girl trying to find angels in her sleep….


There are time when I read things from my past and I am so very thankful that I am no longer walking though the pain of that kind of heart break. My life and my heart have both been restored.

I no longer battle between the two sides of me. I chose to let goodness rain through me and there has never been a moment that I have regretted it. She is only a memory of someone I used to be.

The only thing looking back can be good for is to remind you of how far you have come.


Beautiful Disaster

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Who would have known our destinies would collide…
I never saw you coming until you crashed into me..
So many sparks from one collision…
Without even trying you pulled me into your world…

You did it so naturally…
I had no warning…

you took my breath away the moment you looked my way..
With one touch you changed my world forever…

I felt fire.. love.. passion..

I became lost in a world where only you and I exist…

A fantasy world of beautiful dillusion…
Every minute you are away from me feels like forever… every second you are with me passes by entirely too fast..
My heart wants you for always..

But my head understands the ugly truth..

You may not stay…
Our love is mystical…

magic fills the air when we touch…

our hearts speak a language where words are not always necessary….

the words I hear are like poetry to me…

You inspire the essence of my being…

You overwhelm my heart.. my mind with love…

You protect me with kindness…
Your eyes speak to me telling me the things I’ve waited my entire life to hear…

You see straight through me in ways that no one has ever been able too…
You break rules and tear down walls..

causing me to become vunerable…

you are my kriptonite…
You play games with my head with a trusting hand…

causing me to dream of things I had long given up on…
With one look into your eyes I feel you calling my name…

touching my heart… igniting love… fueling my fears… promising my hearts desire…
I see you in the stars at night… Together we dance in black and white… surrounded by the people who mean everything to us…
I am jaded and damaged… self controled and cautious…. yet the love I own for you consumes my every thought…
You were my angel is disguise….

you helped me remove my armour for a moment in time…

I pray each day that the halo I see in you doesn’t fade from my existence…
It all happened so fast… now we are trying to find a slow speed… my heart may already belong to you…

I pray we survive this my dearest love…
For if we do…

If this love is true and you come back for me…

I will love you always the way I do now…
If we withstand this fire…

Where you go I will go…

Where you lead I will follow..
I believe in what we have…

Even though on the outside looking in…

It can only be seen as a beautiful disaster…


I wrote this at a very broken time in my life. I was very lost, very confused and very broken. Thankfully I have healed from this, it took many years to heal from the heartache, but the point is I did heal 🙂

God sent me a wonderful husband that I could not imagine my life without. If you are in the middle of a beautiful disaster and your heart is shattered… Have hope…. a light does come. The Damage Can Be Repaired.


The Faceless Man

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She sits at her window

starring at the stars above

she thinks of the faceless man

who owns a piece of her heart.

She dreams of a ballroom

with chandeliers that glimmer

a dance floor with pink and silver lining.

She can hear the soft music

being played by the orchestra

She looks around

to see she is all alone.

She wonders

if she’ll always feel this lost.

She turns

to see a man walking

through the door.

It is the faceless man

that has haunted her dreams

for so many years.

Her heart begins to race

as he draws near

He holds out his hand..

She hesitates…


of what this man might bring…

She feels his eyes full of love looking upon her.

She feels a softness in his heart that she has only dreamed of.

In a faint whisper she hears him say; ” You are not lost You have always been a part of me”

She feels her heart melt and tears begin to burn her eyes.

She can not see his face but she can see his soul.

She feels the pleas of his heart
She sees his hand still held out…

waiting for her acceptance..

She takes his hand, takes her place in his embrace.

She begins to soften in his grip… and realizes She knows this man…..

She knows this heart……

It is the heart of her Father…..

She hears a noise that wakes her from this dreamy state.

She looks out upon the stars as tears fill her eyes…

She sees a twinkling star and wonders if just this once she can be childlike.

She closes her eyes and makes the wish of her heart….

She hopes that God will hear this plea….

She no longer wants dreams of the faceless man…

She now wants the heart of her Father


This is something I wrote many years ago, when I was trying to understand my Identity with God and understand him and heal from daddy issues from my biological father.

Journey Of Ice

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Life is a journey that some of us live… and some of us barely survive it… its full of great moments… and sometimes it’s full of horrid events that we somehow wish was a nightmare… We all walk our own walk… no one can judge the journey we make.. or the path that we take.. no one but us fully understands the scars that lie deep within us…some of us are knocked down quicker than others… some of us are harder to knock down but when we fall… we fall hard and it takes us longer to get up… Its not how many times you fall… nor is it how hard you fall…. it doesnt matter how long it takes you to get up… just so long you get up fighting back… when you stay down… you fail.. you let that person.. that event.. that storm win… the journey will then become cold and bitter… losing all sunshine along that path… People will always hurt you in life… you should never use it as an excuse to hurt someone else purposely… in reality you are not only hurting them but you are also destroying the goodness inside of yourself by allowing the anger of you’re pain take over….you’re heart becomes cold.. Before you know it a storm begins to brew within…the ice flowing from you’re heart will begin to consume anything that lies in its path…causing a loss of anything that resembles humanity… You become this miserable dead man walking through life… unintentionally destroying and sucking the life out of anything that comes into your vision… Anger and Misery are no respecters of person… they don’t care who you are… they don’t care what your name is… they don’t care what your social status is… they don’t care about your family…. they don’t care about your children.. they don’t care about your friends… they don’t care about the innocent bystanders that forsakenly walk into their pathway… The poison within them flows from their eyes and hands…contaminating any object of goodness like a disease… they will consume you and anything you touch… introducing you to the person you will soon hate… Eventually Anger and Misery will have chased away anything that resembles warmth or love…. It will have sucked the blood out of anything that represents life outside of the world they deem to make… they become Lonely… Trapped inside a caged prison built by their own hands…. Tortured within their mind with memories that are racing in circles and faces that are fading into darkness….Silence violently rushes them as death is upon them…. The storm has won…. The heart beats no more… the trail leading back home no longer exists…. There is nothing left but… ICE

Moments Of Desperation

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Even In Moments Of Desperation…. My nights are filled with sleepless cries, My days are filled with numbing desperation, My heart cries out as my eyes are blurred by silent tears, My hands are bound by chains. I cry out, ” Where are you Oh Lord, My God?” ” Why has thou forsaken me in my time of need?” I sink into the lake of my silent tears. “My God” , i weakly whimper ” Have my cries not met your ears?” Silence surrounds me. “My God, has thou turned thy face from me?” ” Are my cries not desperate enough, Oh Lord God of Israel!” Walls begin to close around me, fear grips my heart. I beat the walls in desperation, looking for a way out. ” God!”, I scream ” Will thy not help me?” My ears are met with only the sound of my aimless shouts. I am surrounded by people who mock me, I watch as my enemies taunt me. I am weak, I can not fight. I sink into the shadows of darkness. I am alone. To my right, i see a woman. My ears are attentive as she speaks, for her words hold truth, courage and hope. The people whom surround her are taken by her words, for she speaks of The Lord God Almighty. I see her face. She reminds me of someone but i know that i have never met this woman. She turns to me and calls out, “Be not afraid of who God has called you to be!” She holds out her hand. ” Come and see the plans he has for you. ” The look in her eyes plead with me. I get up from my knees and begin to set pace toward her. I fall hard against the cold ground beneath me. My legs have been shackled! I don’t understand! To my left i feel the presence of my enemies. I hear the laughs and mockery. ” Where is your God now? ” I try to ignore them as I pull on the chain of my shackle. I look to them and in their hands in see them holding the chains that have me bound. Their hands hold tightly as they laugh at me. I see the word FEAR burned into their hands. I feel death try to surround me. I cry out, ” Lord, I am weak… I am brittle!” ” Will thy not show thyself ? ”
” Do not let me be put to shame my God!” ” Nor, let me enemies triumph over me! ” I hear their laughs growing louder. I raise my voice. ” Hear my cries, Oh God!” ” My forehead wears your name! ” ” I am your child, I have not forsaken your ways! ” ” Do not leave me here! ” ” My only hope is in you My God! ” ” I surrender all that i am to you, My Lord God! ” Silence surrounds me. I lay limp, as my heart mourns my death. The ground becomes soft beneath me. I feel a gentle feather move across my cheek, arms of strength pick me up from my slumber state. I look into a face filled with love. I hear words that sound like music as he speaks, ” The Lord God Almighty has sent his salvation for you! ” ” He has sent his son Christ Jesus to set you free! ” I hear a sheer sound of the smoothest metal. I turn my face from The Angel Of The Lord and look into the eyes of my salvation. He is clothed in Majesty and in his hand, He holds a sword that has the word Truth Embedded into the diamond grip. With one movement of his sword, I hear the sound of my chains hit the ground. I see my enemies thrown into darkness. “Arise”, I hear ” Thou has been Loosed! ” I look to My Lord and i cry, ” My Lord, I am still to weak from all that has over taken me. ” His mighty voice shook the insides of my weak body. My body began to tremble. ” Peace be still ” His command put my body into submission. ” My Spirit, shall make you whole. ” I feel The Spirit Of The Lord cover me. I feel a warmth begin to consume my inner most being. I feel The Spirit Of The Lord breathe life into my soul, into my being. I feel the Angel Of The Lord release me, my feet firmly hit the ground. I bow down before the presence of My Lord. I began to sing praises. I lift my head. ” Oh Lord, My God, Forgive me! ” ” I thought thou had forsaken me and left me here to die! ” Tears began to flow down my cheeks. ” Forgive me Lord for my doubt! ” I felt his love embrace me as he spoke; ” I am that I am! ” ” My words do not lie! ”
” You are my child. ” ” I will never leave you, nor forsake you. ” ” Even in your darkest moments of despair, I am there. ” ” In the moments you can not feel me or hear me, i am there. ” ” I am that I am! ” ” My words do not lie! ” His face was filled with love and compassion. ” Arise Woman!, Go Forth and Do my Will! ” ” Be not afraid of the things i have planned for you and doubt me not. ” ” Thou has been commissioned! ” I didn’t want to leave him. He knew my thoughts. ” Go, My Child. ” ” Your purpose awaits you. ” Suddenly, i am in a new place, people surround me but I am not afraid. As I speak, I hear words of truth, courage and hope. And i smile, for i finally see I am the woman God has called me to be.

~Davina~ 05/23/07