Whispers In The Wind

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I wanted to share a moment I had today with this song. I know probably everyone has heard it at some point. I want you to listen to it again. Listen to the words and I want you to vision the lost ppl around you, family, friends, co-workers, the lady working the register at Circle K, the young lady in Walmart that looks full of anger, and hurt… there are so many things and ppl around us that went through my mind when I was listening to this song. Then I had a flash back from about 5 years ago, It was probably 3 or 4 am, I was sitting outside on the steps, I was drunk and listening to this song. I remember listening to this song over and over again, actually several drunk nights I ended up around Godly stuff. See at this time I had recently walked away from everything I knew, my brother had died and it turned my world upside down, my two teenage boys were acting up, to the point where I cried almost every night, I was working 2 jobs, trying to be the best mom I could be because my kids were my world,  in church, in a small group, trying MY hardest to do this God thing.

Even being in church I was dying a self-induced spiritual death, I was dying because I wouldn’t let anyone fully in, yes including God, or should I say ESPECIALLY God. I knew of God, I knew I pretty much believed in him, I had seen miracles in my life, Angels when I was near death several times, so I knew he was real. I just didn’t think he was for me… I didn’t think that he loved me. I mean, come on… If he had loved me, he never would have let me go through everything I have been through. Almost no one knows my full story but there had been lots of pain and very close encounters toward death. I flipped when my brother died, left church, left my small group, stop talking to ppl from church, funny thing is?? It was my way of protecting them, I knew I was slipping bad, all I wanted to do was drink, party, numb the pain. ALL the pain, an entire life of doing the “so called right things” and having it screw me over. I loved my girls, the hardest thing was walking away from them but I couldn’t chance taking them down with me, so I vanished. One day im gonna finally sit and write about all of this for ppl but until then…. Anyway, drunk listening to this song.. wanna know the weird part? Even though I had walked away from church, from God… I often wondered if anyone “Heard Me” did anyone truly understand the pain, lost, hopelessness that I felt inside?

Let me ask you the same thing I asked myself today… Do you hear them??? Do you??? Do you hear the cries for help, the screams of desperation for a way out, a plea for hope…. Do you hear her???? OR have you become so comfortable in “doing life” that you have forgotten where you came from? Have you forgotten how broken you were before someone shared Gods love with you, before someone SHOWED you GODS LOVE. Let me tell you who did that for me, Pastor Shannon Richard. She showed me unconditional God love, through every drunk text message, through every hangover. She never gave up encouraging me, She never grew tired of reminding me of Gods plan for me. My life and who I am has changed because of God and because of 2 women, Shannon Richard and my amazing mentor Tasha Guidry. They invested God’s love into me. Who are you investing God’s love into??? We talk about changing the world, but what part are you playing in the change?? We pay things forward, acts of kindness, which I love love love doing, but how about paying forward ministering to someone who is lost and broken???

You want change in your life??? Then get Radical about God’s Love!! Wake UP, OPEN YOUR EYES, & BE THE CHANGE.

https://youtu.be/OEhRucEVzH8

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The Leech Factor

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Without Jesus I’d be like a car accident with no repair shop,
a mental-case of self-doubt,
a walking shot of vodka times twenty.

Without Jesus in me,
I would travel from place to place
as a leech seeking my next feel-good prey.

That would be me.

You know what the crazy part is?

I’ve realized it’s ok if I still leech. Jesus doesn’t mind how much I leech on to him.

I can grasp on, pull out everything that IS him and still get every ounce of what I desperately need. I pull in all of his goodness to breathe out all of it wherever I go.

Jesus practically says leech off of me
and I will give you all-surpassing peace.

You will keep in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. Is. 26:3

I never thought it should work that way. But, it does. It really does.

He is the rescuer, the ambulance, the paramedic who now runs to my rescue.

Not from the physical issues that most likely would have plagued me, but, to the deep emotional hurts. He doesn’t even bandage them – but simply touches them with his gentle hands to bloom what once was bruised.

I don’t need much else besides him. He is the all-inclusive package to life.

I can seek him until I am blue in the face, and still uncover greater sustenance.

He’s better than the straight shot of alcohol because his intoxication heads directly into my heart.

He works in me, through me and for me.

to whom God willed to make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. Col. 1:27

Now I have hope.

What once looked like a world full of hurt, crud yet-to-come and accidents waiting to happen, now looks like a world of hope-at-bay, peace-at-work and joy-yet-to-come.

It’s a mystery, but once you have Jesus in you – it all becomes clear as day.

You don’t have to worry about today, because God holds tomorrow.

You don’t have to fret about lost dreams, because God works beyond our visual screens.

You don’t have to be anxious, because God is working through the piles of trash that seem all around you.

You don’t have to feel alone, because God’s presence is greater than the blue sky that covers.

You simply rest in him, knowing he is working. That is Christ in you.

A person cheating and swindling?  Compassion for their needy heart.
Christ in you.

An obnoxious customer service call? Grace to the one who gets rejected all day long.
Christ in you.

Another call at church to give more money? An outpouring of money to those in need.
Christ in you.

Things you could never comprehend pouring out,
were always poured out by Jesus.
Christ in you.

I am realizing that the only requir

ement is a desire to keep blockages of his glory far, far away. To keep those things that trip you up distanced. That’s it. It’s not even so much that I have to do the hard labor, Christ in me, handles that for me, I just have to be willing to bring it to him.

To acknowledge it – you know, the opposite of deny it.

Then we can see his radiant glory shining out and when it shines it changes everything you look at.  Christ in us. The power is staggering.

Lost On This Street

FearlessWarrior, feelings, Healing, Heartache, lost, MomentsOfTruthwithBrewster, RealTalk, Truth, Warrior

We are like strangers with a thousand memories between us…we utter no words of remembrance… silent prayers are in a cross over our heart…. Broken thoughts swimming through the ashes of another life…. No way to escape the way things have changed…

My tears have become my own… my heart is lost in a land of the unknown… ashes dance around my broken smile…. changing the color of my eyes to grey… they no longer hold the stars in the sky… my soul bleeds only smoke for now it feels hollow with a lack of meaning… Your love was a Vanilla Twilight…better known as a small piece of heaven…

you had a way of making my heart dazzle with purity and now my heart smiles cease to exist… my fire has become faceless… my life feels aimless…. I could never pretend to truly know what it is you think and feel when you look my way… as my walls fell… your walls seemed to grow stronger…. shutting me inside a silent room… You went away…. left me… and sent another man here in your place…

he looks like you but he doesn’t smile or shine the way you do… He doesn’t watch me the way you did… He doesn’t take time to look inside my heart….

He doesn’t long for me or need me the way you once did…. This twin of your soul shares no secrets…

if you did still love me the way you did once… or miss me the way you used too…. he would never tell me…. he is loyal to his master…he could watch me dying inside and never utter a single word….

He seems so cold… I wonder sometimes if he let’s you out long enough to watch me from the skies…. I look at your star and hope that perhaps you are there….

Does he ever let you think of me…. does he ever let you remember the way we loved… the way each kiss spoke endless words… words were never a necessity in our love making…. our lips and hands said enough to make mountains shake… My fingertips are always touching the cross over my heart… searching for you as though I’m still sleeping and walking through the woods waiting to hear your voice…. But when I open my eyes… I’m still here, standing on Broken Dream Boulevard… memories scattered around me… On every corner I see your face… In every thought I feel your touch…

I’m looking for angels once again….and while tears stain the concrete below… I pray you someday find me and save me soon from the nightmare that I’m awake in…. It’s more than my heart can bear… I don’t like being lost on this street anymore…. Please don’t leave me lost here… The only direction I know is you…