Whispers In The Wind

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I wanted to share a moment I had today with this song. I know probably everyone has heard it at some point. I want you to listen to it again. Listen to the words and I want you to vision the lost ppl around you, family, friends, co-workers, the lady working the register at Circle K, the young lady in Walmart that looks full of anger, and hurt… there are so many things and ppl around us that went through my mind when I was listening to this song. Then I had a flash back from about 5 years ago, It was probably 3 or 4 am, I was sitting outside on the steps, I was drunk and listening to this song. I remember listening to this song over and over again, actually several drunk nights I ended up around Godly stuff. See at this time I had recently walked away from everything I knew, my brother had died and it turned my world upside down, my two teenage boys were acting up, to the point where I cried almost every night, I was working 2 jobs, trying to be the best mom I could be because my kids were my world,  in church, in a small group, trying MY hardest to do this God thing.

Even being in church I was dying a self-induced spiritual death, I was dying because I wouldn’t let anyone fully in, yes including God, or should I say ESPECIALLY God. I knew of God, I knew I pretty much believed in him, I had seen miracles in my life, Angels when I was near death several times, so I knew he was real. I just didn’t think he was for me… I didn’t think that he loved me. I mean, come on… If he had loved me, he never would have let me go through everything I have been through. Almost no one knows my full story but there had been lots of pain and very close encounters toward death. I flipped when my brother died, left church, left my small group, stop talking to ppl from church, funny thing is?? It was my way of protecting them, I knew I was slipping bad, all I wanted to do was drink, party, numb the pain. ALL the pain, an entire life of doing the “so called right things” and having it screw me over. I loved my girls, the hardest thing was walking away from them but I couldn’t chance taking them down with me, so I vanished. One day im gonna finally sit and write about all of this for ppl but until then…. Anyway, drunk listening to this song.. wanna know the weird part? Even though I had walked away from church, from God… I often wondered if anyone “Heard Me” did anyone truly understand the pain, lost, hopelessness that I felt inside?

Let me ask you the same thing I asked myself today… Do you hear them??? Do you??? Do you hear the cries for help, the screams of desperation for a way out, a plea for hope…. Do you hear her???? OR have you become so comfortable in “doing life” that you have forgotten where you came from? Have you forgotten how broken you were before someone shared Gods love with you, before someone SHOWED you GODS LOVE. Let me tell you who did that for me, Pastor Shannon Richard. She showed me unconditional God love, through every drunk text message, through every hangover. She never gave up encouraging me, She never grew tired of reminding me of Gods plan for me. My life and who I am has changed because of God and because of 2 women, Shannon Richard and my amazing mentor Tasha Guidry. They invested God’s love into me. Who are you investing God’s love into??? We talk about changing the world, but what part are you playing in the change?? We pay things forward, acts of kindness, which I love love love doing, but how about paying forward ministering to someone who is lost and broken???

You want change in your life??? Then get Radical about God’s Love!! Wake UP, OPEN YOUR EYES, & BE THE CHANGE.

https://youtu.be/OEhRucEVzH8

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The Leech Factor

Art, Beautiful, BeautifulDisaster, BeFearless, Believe, BeYou, Bible, BibleDevotions, Brewster, ChangeYourStars, Christian, ChristianLife, ChristLover, Commissioned, Disaster, DontGiveUp, DreamAway, Fearless, FearlessWarrior, feelings, girlRgirls, Goddess, GodsGirl, HaveVision, Healing, Hope, Immortal, I_Dare_You, Jesus, laugh, Lies, LittlePrincess, Live, lost, love, MagnificentObsession, moments, MomentsOfTruthwithBrewster, Mystery, NomoreChains, NotForsaken, poetry, princesslife, PrivateAccusations, QueenLife, RealTalk, Redemption, Salvation, Setfree, Smile, Strength

Without Jesus I’d be like a car accident with no repair shop,
a mental-case of self-doubt,
a walking shot of vodka times twenty.

Without Jesus in me,
I would travel from place to place
as a leech seeking my next feel-good prey.

That would be me.

You know what the crazy part is?

I’ve realized it’s ok if I still leech. Jesus doesn’t mind how much I leech on to him.

I can grasp on, pull out everything that IS him and still get every ounce of what I desperately need. I pull in all of his goodness to breathe out all of it wherever I go.

Jesus practically says leech off of me
and I will give you all-surpassing peace.

You will keep in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. Is. 26:3

I never thought it should work that way. But, it does. It really does.

He is the rescuer, the ambulance, the paramedic who now runs to my rescue.

Not from the physical issues that most likely would have plagued me, but, to the deep emotional hurts. He doesn’t even bandage them – but simply touches them with his gentle hands to bloom what once was bruised.

I don’t need much else besides him. He is the all-inclusive package to life.

I can seek him until I am blue in the face, and still uncover greater sustenance.

He’s better than the straight shot of alcohol because his intoxication heads directly into my heart.

He works in me, through me and for me.

to whom God willed to make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. Col. 1:27

Now I have hope.

What once looked like a world full of hurt, crud yet-to-come and accidents waiting to happen, now looks like a world of hope-at-bay, peace-at-work and joy-yet-to-come.

It’s a mystery, but once you have Jesus in you – it all becomes clear as day.

You don’t have to worry about today, because God holds tomorrow.

You don’t have to fret about lost dreams, because God works beyond our visual screens.

You don’t have to be anxious, because God is working through the piles of trash that seem all around you.

You don’t have to feel alone, because God’s presence is greater than the blue sky that covers.

You simply rest in him, knowing he is working. That is Christ in you.

A person cheating and swindling?  Compassion for their needy heart.
Christ in you.

An obnoxious customer service call? Grace to the one who gets rejected all day long.
Christ in you.

Another call at church to give more money? An outpouring of money to those in need.
Christ in you.

Things you could never comprehend pouring out,
were always poured out by Jesus.
Christ in you.

I am realizing that the only requir

ement is a desire to keep blockages of his glory far, far away. To keep those things that trip you up distanced. That’s it. It’s not even so much that I have to do the hard labor, Christ in me, handles that for me, I just have to be willing to bring it to him.

To acknowledge it – you know, the opposite of deny it.

Then we can see his radiant glory shining out and when it shines it changes everything you look at.  Christ in us. The power is staggering.

Searching For Angels

Angels, Art, BeYou, Innocent, love, MomentsOfTruthwithBrewster, poetry

Sitting alone in my room…. curtains are down… darkness surrounds me… thoughts screaming through my head… hot tears streaming down my face…. my eyes have shown me… I’m not free from this pain I carry inside… My heart is in this prison…. in a box made of glass…. It feels little strength anymore…. it can no longer understand it’s task…. a pure heart with too many scars… jaded from life’s journeys… hopes and dreams have been torn apart….. My hands fall below my head…. my voice is numb from heartfelt cries… my soul is searching for Angels to heal this pain inside…. my desperate aches begging for grace…. cover me with your wings so I might recognize my own face….. My breath is carved from your hand… your reflection still in my eyes…. your voice still loud in my head…. singing the song of the stars…. my dreams are a hiding place….. my fingers playing upon your face…..

I hear an angels voice…. it follows the harmony of a harp…. I feel so alone and abandoned….. praying for comfort from this angel is like looking for love in a drop of rain…. I know this comfort I do not deserve….. The kindness I’ve served to others is my only plea…. please… please dear god…. hear me and help me in this time of need…. I know I’m nothing special…. I’m simply a servant looking for a reason to exist…. my love is sacrificial and unconditional to those in need…. I’m not perfect… But my heart has always been to change the lives of others…. with a kind word… a sweet smile…. giving away sunshine so that others may gleam inside…. I have no sunshine left to give…. my words come out in a whisper….. there is no smile on my face…. I feel like a tree with no leaves…. learning again to give people what they need to see…. spending my nights in tears because there is no happiness left inside of me…. I search for angels all through the day…. a life to touch… a heart to help…. hoping it will bring me closer to whom I used to be….. I sit by the water and wonder if my time has been wasted…. maybe I am as foolish as some people say….

Life isn’t as simple as I try to believe… infact looking at it can make it seem quite mean…. the only thing I know how to do is love…. but it’s never what I seem to get in return…. The loyalty I show is so easily thrown away….
My love is taken for granted…. maybe it just wasn’t enough…. everything I do in life seems wrong… no matter the turn I take it keeps leading me back to this place…. I’m starting to forget what it felt like to smile for real…. I look at the sky and it’s so pretty and blue…. I miss feeling special…. I must learn to live with this pain but I have no idea how…. I have to find a way to make people believe my tears have stopped… My walls are paper thin and I’m losing hope in myself…. I’m searching for Angels night and day to help me…. please God if you still love me… please help my hope in life and love keep breathing… it was my best gift to give when I was alive….

Send Angels to help me remember everyday…. it’s not me that matters anymore…. my heart should only want to help those in need…. thinking of myself is so very selfish indeed… Please give me strength to keep searching for angels…. for they are my example of how to live… how to love…. how to be a better me…