Searching For Angels

Angels, Art, BeYou, Innocent, love, MomentsOfTruthwithBrewster, poetry

Sitting alone in my room…. curtains are down… darkness surrounds me… thoughts screaming through my head… hot tears streaming down my face…. my eyes have shown me… I’m not free from this pain I carry inside… My heart is in this prison…. in a box made of glass…. It feels little strength anymore…. it can no longer understand it’s task…. a pure heart with too many scars… jaded from life’s journeys… hopes and dreams have been torn apart….. My hands fall below my head…. my voice is numb from heartfelt cries… my soul is searching for Angels to heal this pain inside…. my desperate aches begging for grace…. cover me with your wings so I might recognize my own face….. My breath is carved from your hand… your reflection still in my eyes…. your voice still loud in my head…. singing the song of the stars…. my dreams are a hiding place….. my fingers playing upon your face…..

I hear an angels voice…. it follows the harmony of a harp…. I feel so alone and abandoned….. praying for comfort from this angel is like looking for love in a drop of rain…. I know this comfort I do not deserve….. The kindness I’ve served to others is my only plea…. please… please dear god…. hear me and help me in this time of need…. I know I’m nothing special…. I’m simply a servant looking for a reason to exist…. my love is sacrificial and unconditional to those in need…. I’m not perfect… But my heart has always been to change the lives of others…. with a kind word… a sweet smile…. giving away sunshine so that others may gleam inside…. I have no sunshine left to give…. my words come out in a whisper….. there is no smile on my face…. I feel like a tree with no leaves…. learning again to give people what they need to see…. spending my nights in tears because there is no happiness left inside of me…. I search for angels all through the day…. a life to touch… a heart to help…. hoping it will bring me closer to whom I used to be….. I sit by the water and wonder if my time has been wasted…. maybe I am as foolish as some people say….

Life isn’t as simple as I try to believe… infact looking at it can make it seem quite mean…. the only thing I know how to do is love…. but it’s never what I seem to get in return…. The loyalty I show is so easily thrown away….
My love is taken for granted…. maybe it just wasn’t enough…. everything I do in life seems wrong… no matter the turn I take it keeps leading me back to this place…. I’m starting to forget what it felt like to smile for real…. I look at the sky and it’s so pretty and blue…. I miss feeling special…. I must learn to live with this pain but I have no idea how…. I have to find a way to make people believe my tears have stopped… My walls are paper thin and I’m losing hope in myself…. I’m searching for Angels night and day to help me…. please God if you still love me… please help my hope in life and love keep breathing… it was my best gift to give when I was alive….

Send Angels to help me remember everyday…. it’s not me that matters anymore…. my heart should only want to help those in need…. thinking of myself is so very selfish indeed… Please give me strength to keep searching for angels…. for they are my example of how to live… how to love…. how to be a better me…

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